Brought up without a direction, talking without action.
A body controlled by the orders of the mind. Nothing really interesting could be found.
Only temporary solutions of eternally long situations. Only short moments of joy.
Only short moments of excitement, sufficiently strong for them to become strong memories. Honestly, the only memories.
What the environment couldn’t provide, a small black box could.
It pulled me out of the ordinary place, where the most exciting event of the month was a family shopping trip to town, 20 minutes’ drive away. It allowed me to access a place, where everything seemed more exciting.
Minutes felt like seconds. Hours felt like minutes.
I sacrificed everything real around me for something unreal in front of me.
Time with real friends outside.
Playing football with real friends outside.
I replaced it with a life of a fantasy hero in a life of fantasy heroes.
Gaming fulfilled my pathetic life.
Time flew and that what caused time fly, I now considered a waste of time.
I didn’t feel sorrow. I felt bored. The happiness disappeared. The excitement disappeared.
Only eternal questions without answers.
What am I going to do today?
Why should I leave my comfortable bed?
Why do I have to live in such a place?
Just lying on the bed without movement.
Just the movement of sound coming from my headphones. Constant watching of the television without thinking, just pitiful watching of the perfect life of strangers.
Everybody looked so busy. Everybody around me was seeking something.
Just my mind, my body was drowning.
A spontaneous decision or a decision of desperation?
I have no idea what lead me to read a book promising a successful life, where wealth, luxury is a part of us. I felt like when I played videogames.
Minutes felt like seconds.
Hours felt like minutes.
The pages of the book quickly began to run out.
I left the sad reality around me. I entered the perfect life in front of me.
Flying on a jetpack was replaced by the decision to stop looking behind my back.
The book gave me the confidence to look ahead, even if I couldn’t see anything.
That book showed me words I haven’t understood before.
It gave me advice, I haven’t heard before.
“Set yourself a goal. A daily goal. A weekly goal. A monthly goal. A yearly goal.
A lifegoal”.
Body, health, mind, talent, relationships, money, garden.
So many options became my duties.
So many parts of life enabled me to stay on my feet late at night.
Thanks to this book I determined a goal, thanks to that book I wanted more than just another randomly survived day, without a dead-end.
No more sitting in front of the television.
No more scrolling Facebook.
No more empty lines in my diary.
I made a promise. I can’t live life like this anymore.
From the day I determined a goal, I don’t know the meaning of boredom.
Every morning there’s something that forces me to stop lying, to leave the warm and comfortable bed, work hard on my future, which allows me to put those shiny trophies
on top of my soft bed.