My old self was not always here for me.
Wrong view. Wrong que.
Two small balls called eyes, glued over with a nonempathic Sellotape.
Endlessly sensitive senses, uncompromisingly judging every piece of grape.
Why does he have this, when I don’t have it?
Why is she doing this, when I’m not?
A hypnotized slave. Consumption.
An uninfluenceable king. Assumption.
The knowledge of me being right.
Self-confidence to welcome any fight.
Years. It took years.
Lots of times, eyes filled with tears.
Hatred for others that brought me into this world.
Hatred towards those prospering in this world.
Why me.
Why is this happening to me?
Sadness. Hatred. Disappointment. Envy. Feelings.
Just feelings.
Fast cars.
Perfect bodies.
Vast properties.
Prestige work.
A charming partner.
Silk clothing.
Exciting travels.
Influential friendships.
A loving family.
An obedient dog.
Deep anxiety caused by wide society.
These days, all of it, grey past.
Surprising how change comes fast.
These days, moving skeletons throwing shining items into the wind.
Me?
Stronger, not giving up on my own mind.
Comparing with brothers?
Complaining with others?
Totally useless.
I don’t need that mess.
I found true wealth, where nobody every looked.
Inside my own self.
No lens can see there.
Not even my own lens.
And that’s fine.
Because those that want to be real, have to feel.
Be quiet.
Feel.
I can hear it. Slight whispering: This isn’t you.
This is not for you.
He is unique.
She is unique.
The reason why to say goodbye.
Arnold’s body.
Robert’s Ferrari.
Peter’s plastic lady.
A Micheline mansion near Los Brandy.
Samantha’s famous friends.
Jon’s weekends without ends.
Goodbye.
I give up. It’s yours.
I give up.
Oh. I love it.
I love the liberation.
Authentic liberation.
Why? That there, a lie!
What makes the hearts of others happy,
doesn’t make my heart happy.
Every human being is carrying their own unique purpose.
Every plant on this planet is different from a rose.
Obsession.
To have, live the same life.
More dangerous than a sharp knife.
The blind ambition to have more and more.
Almost killed my core.
Just an ordinary realisation,
my soul plays its own tone,
saved the kind voice inside of my bones.
Instead of material things,
loyal siblings.
Instead of a shiny surface,
returning the spark to a sad face.
Instead of spending time over margaritas,
spending time for charity.
It’s blessing.
To have less and still be determined to offer
a generous hand to the homeless.
We are different.
Evidence, everywhere where I went.
Proud guys, willing to spend golden bars for exotic vehicles.
The same guys proudly driving exotic cars,
without interest in spending silver coins for cotton uniforms.
Charming gals, willing to spend golden bars for leather handbags.
The same charming gals, holding the leather handbags,
without interest in spending silver coins for emerald jewellery.
Strong guys, willing to spend golden bars for healthy fruit.
The same strong guys eating healthy fruit,
without interest in spending silver coins for a prestige roof.
Calm gals, willing to spend golden bars for beautiful looks.
The same calm gals, burning fat in pain,
without interest in spending silver coins for a loud performance.
Different stories.
Different values.
Different roots.
Different values.
Silence the incorrect scream condemning the behaviour of others.
Accept the subtle whisper of respecting others.
Judgment day, disconnect us.
The adventure after the judgment day has to connect us.
I discovered the deepest values without reading glossy news.
Pssst.
I’m not lowering my standards.
I’m unveiling the truth of cards.
A group of humble, unmarked souls instead of sweets in bowls.
One of my selection, brining calmness and satisfaction to my veins.